Homecoming

Last night was interesting... very interesting... I still don't know what to think of most of it.

There were a few, distinct impressions left on my brain this morning though:
1. I have awesome, awesome friends. Thank you for everything...
2. Dancing is one of my favorite things to do in the world.
3. My life resembles a soap opera sometimes.
4. Knee-high boots are sweet!

Make of it what you will...

Cheers.

I have proof!!!

I hate trying on clothes. I repeat: hate trying on clothes. The clothes browsing I don't mind, but the minute I step into the dressing room, it all goes down hill. I'm sure all of the females reading this will understand what I'm talking about in some shape or form... But the one aspect that I hate the most about trying on clothes is vanity sizing; it truly is becoming the bane of my clothed existence. While I understand the underlying concept of making a larger woman feel better about herself, this trend is seriously affecting my ability to shop in normal stores.

Example: I needed a new pair of jeans so last weekend I wandered into The Gap to try my luck. With some awesome, awesome good karma, the first pair of jeans I tried on fit quite nicely and after trying on the rest of my armload (not one of which looked good), I went happily home with what I had come in for. This afternoon while putting away my laundry, I realized that I had bought the same style of jeans from Gap about 2 years ago, so I decided to measure them against each other. And low-and-behold, what do you know: the old jeans (size 4 regular) were the exact same length and size and cut as the new ones (size 2 long). So in the last two years I've either lost some serious weight and gotten taller (which I haven't) or vanity sizing has occured... I'm going with the latter.

And why should I care? Why am I hemming and hawing over the difference of a size 4 and a size 2 when a lot of women do horrible stuff to their bodies to be as thin as I am? Because let's face it: I haven't changed weight or shape in about 4 years. And while I'm sure I will not be this shape for the rest of my life, at this rate of vanity sizing I will need negative sizes in another four years...

Now one could say that I should just gain some weight, but anyone who has seen me eat will know that that is not an easy task for me. Besides, I'm a healthy weight... hear that?! HEALTHY... yes, I'm at the bottom of the range, but with my build, putting on weight to go up a few sizes in clothes would be unhealthy because I would just be putting on fat.

And truthfully, there is a bit of personal vanity in being a size 4... it took me forever to get UP to a size 4. I used to grow so fast height-wise and not weight-wise that my pants either floated above my ankles but fit in the waist or fell down past my ass even with a belt but fit me in the inseam. I went through years and years of wearing everything as baggy as I could to try and hide the fact that things didn't fit me... So when I finally hit sizes that actually fit and were found in normal, mainstream stores, I was ecstatic. And the idea that I could no longer be able to find clothes that fit me is scary and seriously depressing. (And it is very, very, VERY depressing when a size 0 dress is too big for you and you're 22.)

So for all of you ladies out there that have been bemoaning your curves, remember that they are what make you a woman. They won't always be friendly and they certainly won't make clothes shopping any more fun, but there is something to be said for being able to call yourself a real size... and for not having to put up with other people automatically assuming you have an eating disorder or that you are obsessed with your weight and being thin.

Even the skinny girls don't get to win... sheesh.

Cheers.

Beware... I'm ranting

It really pisses me off when people contact me expecting me to be there to listen to their woes and be their best friend and in general just be there when they need/want someone to talk to, and yet when I need them, they are nowhere to be found.

I have one guy friend who constantly calls me (while I'm at work, too) to tell me the latest boring development in his life or to ask me for advice which he then promptly ignores. And yet, after listening to him rant about moving back in with his parents or the latest girl he hooked up with the night before, he doesn't even think to ask how I'm doing (or he asks and then gives me 5 secs before he turns the conversation back to him.) Speak of the devil... guess who just called...

I have another person who ims me randomly thorughout the week as though we're buddy buddy... which would be fine except for the fact that we don't have any friendship to base a conversation on. We're completely different people with completely different lives, and while we used to have a really important link to each other, there's nothing left, and I'm not ready (and I'm thinking I may never be ready) to try and be friends. And it's not like I would feel comfortable talking with him about most things anyway.

And just to round it all out, I have my best friend who seems to think that being too busy to hang out with me except when he wants me to come and bring him dinner constitutes being bestest buddies. I've already told him straight out that I find it hard to even call him a friend when he makes no effort to talk to me, come visit, hang out, and when I call him, he's already got plans with some other friend or he's "busy"... What more do I really need to say?

And what bugs me the most is that I've tried ignoring them, pulling away from them, being short with them, telling them straight out why I'm frustrated, telling them not to call me whenever they feel like it, and these people don't get it. They don't change a thing about the way they treat me.

So, I'm declaring it here and now that I am done putting up with other people's shit. I'm a very loyal person, and I will always be there for my friends when they need me. But for the other dumbasses, they can find another shoulder to cry on and another person to entertain them when they're bored. I usually find it really tough to be a bitch to people's faces, but not at the moment... right now, I'm gunning for the chance to bite one of their heads off.

So how's everyone else's week going?

Cheers.